Everybody has one or two things that they find objectionable. I am not referring to the really important universal concerns such as global warming, war, famine, religious conflict or racism. What I have in mind here, are the small, mostly irrelevant things that individuals subjectively, and often irrationally, find annoying. We can all call to mind a phrase, a song, a product or an idea that we personally find really stupid, pretentious or hypocritical. Appreciating that it is probably irrational and very likely not shared, I thought I would nonetheless record one or two phrases that truly irk me.
“Reach out to …”. This phrase seems to be part of every single script to be conceived in the past decade. Somewhere, someone coined the phrase, and everybody seemed to embrace it. “Reaching out” to anything implies something less than actual contact. If the phrase is used in a technically correct sense, it may be less vexing. The phrase clearly means that a person will TRY to make contact. Phrases such as “I will contact …” or “I will ask …” or “I will make inquiries …” are technically far more correct. This is simply another example of how whimsical fads in pop culture often demotes eloquent and functional language to the dark basement of unpopularity (together with other, once useful items such as DVD’s, red corduroy pants and white men).
“Can I ask you something?” Why will anybody ever have to say this? Firstly, they have just asked something by asking if they can ask something. Secondly, a normal conversation consists of statements, questions and answers being exchanged. The question to be asked is usually just asked during the course of the conversation – without the questioner needing to question the questionee whether a question may be posed. Thirdly, if one needs to ask someone if you can ask them something, it probably means that they have not been paying attention to the conversation up to that point. Perhaps then, the worth of the conversation should be questioned.
“I have rights / I know my rights”. This is the go-to phrase for someone who has just been caught red-handed. The “I have rights”-er usually has no idea what “rights” are or what “his rights” actually may be. Normally the perceived rights are made up as they go along in response to anything that may reveal the crime or aims to hold the “I have rights”-er accountable. There seems to be a direct correlation between the degree of recalcitrance and the number of rights one apparently has.
There are other phrases that are similarly subjectively dubious that may form the subject matter of a future debate. We may for example consider “you are a racist” (the phrase usually uttered by the biggest racist in a thousand mile radius – also popular with the “I have right”-ers) and “do you trust me” (usually used by one on the verge of doing serious harm).
Perhaps I need to reach out to all of you and ask you whether I can ask you to trust me and please not to see my tongue-in–cheek piece as racist or as an infringement on any rights.